Once again I was an idiot. He didn't want to be more than friends, I came on too strong, now he can't stand me. I remember that stupid poem I wrote saying that there was more to me than meets the eye. I was lieing to myself. I'm exactly what you see. Nervous, Weird, and too Glassey-eyed to be comfortable around. I really wish I could take it all back and we could be friends again. Well we were never really "friends" but I would have valued his friendship. Oh well I'll just have to get throught this, It couldn't really be that hard. The only thing that is truley AWEFUL about this is that it will happen again. I just have to move on, because what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.
*Sigh* Life sucks, excpecailly when your a hopeless romantic.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Too Good To Be True?
Hello again my favorite non-existent stalkers! I am writing for the first time in months and boy, do I have a lot to say... er... write.
So first, you should know that I am back in school- High school - the begging of the end of my childhood. I will certainly miss being able to act like a total idiot without having adults say 'kids will just be kids', instead I will have to act oh-so-mature or else they'll tell me to 'grow up'. Luckily, I've always been a little more on the mature side, except when it comes to boys. Yes I said the B-word. If I don't have an attraction to the guy there wont be a problem. If i do? That's a whole other story. A story that you - my lovely non-existent reader - Would love to hear.
Hmmm? Who am I? A poet? A total Head Banger (meaning I listen to lots of heavy metal)? A Singer/Guitar player? or maybe even a hopeless romantic? Well, I'm all of those things. And finding someone who is openly just like me is nearly impossible... or so I thought. One Word (or name) changes everything. Scott. Tall, Long copper haired, Blue eyed, Poet/ Singer/ Guitar Player/ Head Banger/ Hopeful Romantic/ Perfect, Scott. Well he's not perfect, but I'll be damned if he wasn't as close to perfect as you can get. Say Good bye to my old crush (who turned out to be more into his friends -and marijuana- then the emotions of a romantic), and hello sweet to-good-to-be-true Scott.
Why is he to good to be true? Two words that (once again) change everything. Girl Friend. I'm not completely sure if he has a girl friend, but I'm pretty sure I remember him talking about a girl that lives three states away that he loves very much. If he doesn't have a GF -which is almost impossible- then he probably said that to keep me away. Well I don't know why he would keep me away after he told me to sit next to him on the bus and had me listen to sweet rock love songs with him.
Now you see why I call myself hopeless...
So first, you should know that I am back in school- High school - the begging of the end of my childhood. I will certainly miss being able to act like a total idiot without having adults say 'kids will just be kids', instead I will have to act oh-so-mature or else they'll tell me to 'grow up'. Luckily, I've always been a little more on the mature side, except when it comes to boys. Yes I said the B-word. If I don't have an attraction to the guy there wont be a problem. If i do? That's a whole other story. A story that you - my lovely non-existent reader - Would love to hear.
Hmmm? Who am I? A poet? A total Head Banger (meaning I listen to lots of heavy metal)? A Singer/Guitar player? or maybe even a hopeless romantic? Well, I'm all of those things. And finding someone who is openly just like me is nearly impossible... or so I thought. One Word (or name) changes everything. Scott. Tall, Long copper haired, Blue eyed, Poet/ Singer/ Guitar Player/ Head Banger/ Hopeful Romantic/ Perfect, Scott. Well he's not perfect, but I'll be damned if he wasn't as close to perfect as you can get. Say Good bye to my old crush (who turned out to be more into his friends -and marijuana- then the emotions of a romantic), and hello sweet to-good-to-be-true Scott.
Why is he to good to be true? Two words that (once again) change everything. Girl Friend. I'm not completely sure if he has a girl friend, but I'm pretty sure I remember him talking about a girl that lives three states away that he loves very much. If he doesn't have a GF -which is almost impossible- then he probably said that to keep me away. Well I don't know why he would keep me away after he told me to sit next to him on the bus and had me listen to sweet rock love songs with him.
Now you see why I call myself hopeless...
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